Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

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dwebj
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Re: Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Post by dwebj » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:15 pm

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.



"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.


"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man, and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! ......... But enough about me, how's your day going?"
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Zahasha
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Re: Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Post by Zahasha » Wed Oct 26, 2011 11:22 am

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
:lol:
Image

"It is good to have an end to journey towards:
but it is the journey that matters in the end." ~Ursula K Le Guin
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Zahasha
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Re: Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Post by Zahasha » Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:04 pm

The Power of Beer

A man goes into a bar and drinks beer.
After every glass of beer he pulls a picture out of his pocket and looks at it.
After the 4th beer the waiter asks him why after every glass of beer he pulls the picture out and looks at it

Then the man says: It's a picture of my wife.
When she looks good to me I'm going home.

That is an example of the "The Power of Beer"
Be sure to click where it says "click here" (That's the cute part)
Click Here
Then push the beer glass to the right.
Image

"It is good to have an end to journey towards:
but it is the journey that matters in the end." ~Ursula K Le Guin
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Crymea
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Re: Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Post by Crymea » Thu Dec 08, 2011 10:58 am

State of the Union

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

The man replied, "Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving?" the driver asks.

The man answers, "Roughly a gallon."
Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."
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Crymea
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Re: Stupid joke of the day, feel free to add your own!

Post by Crymea » Tue Jan 17, 2012 3:58 pm

Names

One day, a daughter walked up to her mother and asked, "Mom, why did you name me Rose?"

The mother replied, "On the day you were born, a rose fell upon your head."

Another daughter asked her mother, "Mom, why did you name me Robin?"

The mother replied, "On the day you were born, a robin flew down and landed on your head."

A son walked up and said, "Hrmfaiweqjflaeoafk..."

The mother screamed, "SHUT UP, REFRIGERATOR!"

(I know, I'm terrible.)
Crymea says, "No tail, no sale."
Tyranimus says, "Oh, shut up you lousy monk."
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