Pearls and Swine A young man enters the New York branch of Tiffany's on a Friday evening and walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces. He turns to a gorgeous woman, who is obviously windowshopping, looks her straight in the eye and says, "I can tell by your eyes that you really want ...

I think my Thanksgiving Quest this year is gonna be a short run to the KFC zone, to acquire the fabled "Box of Chicken" from Teenager du'Zit. After all, tradeskills are teh Debil.

Welcome back, Varthon. Research your epic!

MY LIVING WILL Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged my stereo, and threw out my wine.

A Pilot Joke Two blind pilots board the plane wearing dark glasses. One is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes and the engines start up. The passengers begin glanci...

The Golf Incident There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife. One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round. On the 12th hole, he sliced a drive over by a grounds-keepers' shack. Although he did not have a clea...

Have lots of fun in WoW, Rob, and if the game isn't for you, we'll still be here. Be sure to say hi to everyone over there from us!

Funny Overhead Statement

"I had a drunk & stoned hippie once tell me he won't use deodorant because he "doesn't want all those chemicals in my body." The irony was lost on him."

..and c'mon guys, I know you got funny stuff you really want to share!

A Classic Six days after the Creation, Adam was still alone in the Garden of Eden, and getting pretty desperate. "God!" he cried, "rescue me from loneliness and despair! Send some company for Your sake!" God replied "OK, I have just the thing. Keep you warm and relaxed all ...

Smuggling Operation. There was a man who was working as border patrol officer on the United States/Mexican border. Every week, there was a gentleman riding a bike who would cross the border carrying two large bags of sand. The border patrol officer would always stop this man, and search through the...

Does anyone else here remember the horrible 80's movie "Night of the Comet"?

Better watch out for those killer comets...

Some Quickies Q: What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? A: Anyone Can Roast Beef. Q: Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? A: Right Where You Left Him. Q: Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? A: Because It Scares The Dog. Q: How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Sa...

A Minor Misunderstanding A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska. He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line. He halted his car and walked up...

A Pub Tale One dusty July afternoon, somewhere around the turn of the century, Patrick Malone was in Mulcahey's Bar, bending an elbow with the other street car conductors from the Brooklyn Traction Company. While they were discussing the merits of a local ring hero, the bar goes silent. Malone turn...

New Boots An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "Seniors" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife "notice anything different about me?"...